Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000-present) is an American television sitcom on HBO starring Seinfeld writer & co-creator Larry David. The series is loosely based on David's life as a semi-retired multi-millionaire in the world after Seinfeld. Larry: With all due respect, Officer Berg, you are not bald. And, if you think about it's a good color, 'cause white is really too bright and black is like a pair of shoes. It was inspired by a 1999 one-hour mockumentary titled Larry David: Curb Your Enthusiasm, which David and HBO had envisioned as a one-time project. Larry: Hello, I had sex with my uncle when I was 12. An osteopath--I don't even know what they do, but I know they're doctors. You've chosen to shave your hair and that's a look you're cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don't really consider you part of the bald community..all due respect.
Although, I did, once, try and stop a woman who was about to get hit by a car. They'll talk on the phone and go out to dinner together, go to the movies?
All right, just get me the fucking [doll] head, all right?!
Spleen."Susie: Stop scratching your balls and tell me where it is!
Spleen gets rid of dirt and grime and grease in just a minute. Spleen will clean your whole house and everything that's in it, Mr. " "Oh, I stuck a doll's head down my pants, Doctor. "Richard Lewis: Listen, people call me and they call you and they say "Oh well Larry David has the same thing on his machine." It's not Larry David's it's mine!
That's going to be a lot of fun; "Where'd you get the rash? Larry: Do you think we really needed Alaska and Hawaii?
I gotta check out my penis, I have to go to the doctor now? Larry: Because if we go over his house for dinner then we're gonna have to invite him someplace and if we don't invite him then he's gonna be offended, then the next time I go there there's gonna be tension, "I invited you, why didn't you invite me? That's the end of this dentist for all intents and purposes, I'm tellin'. Everybody's gotta get together, gotta get together, the whole world's gotta get together. but I know, you know, a black man can never do anything wrong, at least to get fired from a job! Wanda: [walks over to TV, pushes button - the TV works] You gotta turn the damn satellite on for the TV to work! We have a beautiful Pacific coast, Atlantic coast, that’s the continental United States. Well, I'm just gonna tell him we're going out of town or something. I'll need a new dentist soon, there's no question about it. he's the guy who set up the whole system here and it doesn't work! every week, I'm givin' him checks, we've got five remotes, I can't turn it on... Are they trying to turn us into the British Empire? Larry: No, I've never mentioned anything to him about getting together socially, I wouldn't mix social and professional, that's a terrible combination. Krazee-Eyez Killa (rapping): So you think you gonna cross me, and mess with my shit? Don't fuck with me nigga, or you gonna get dropped. Krazee-Eyez Killa: Yeah, you do your dining in here and shit. you got some chairs and shit, you know what I mean? It's like if you go to a prostitute, and the prostitute goes around and tells everybody that you got a small penis. Weatherman: Larry, theres a low pressure system sitting out over the coast, the jet stream brings that into this area, the jet stream is controlled by the rotation of the Earth, you know who controls that? Survivor contestant/Colby: So here we are, in a region of Australia where out of the world's ten most deadly snakes, nine of them inhabit this region. You come across a Taipan on the trail and you get bit: dead. Wanda: Sheriff, the fuckin' dog that eats black people. I'll tell you what, y'all stay here, pet your crazy-ass racist dog, but I am not bringing my black ass back up into this fucking "hotel" until y'all get rid of that fucking Klan dog.