Avi Roseman is the author of the popular and controversial Jewish dating guide Secrets of Shiksa Appeal.A 2007 graduate of The Johns Hopkins University School of Engineering, Ms.Avi spent three years in IT Consulting, and is a matchmaker, JMag columnist (JDate Magazine), and is currently a graduate student in New York City.
The roles of women and men in today’s society are blurred.
Women are brought up to “go for it” and to be aggressive in their educational and work lives.
I should know, I’m the daughter of a feminist-activist woman raised in the 1950’s who got a Ph D in Math and was a Senior Managing Director at JP Morgan.
What parents don’t tell their daughters is that love is different than business. Those women who do so are the ones who are 40, single, and wondering why!
Either a guy is attracted to you or he isn’t, and working harder to get him will just make you act more desperate.
To answer the other part of the question, the whole shtick about letting the Jewish man shine on a date is just allowing the Jewish man to reclaim his masculine role in the relationship.To clarify, this means if he’s a master bowler, then a great date would be letting him teach you to bowl.If he’s a European art connoisseur, let him show off his knowledge at the Met.On the flip side, if you’re a great tennis player, then just wait a few dates (or months) before you smash his ego to pieces on the tennis court. One critic (Renee Ghert-Zand of the Forward) wrote that you “freely call these non-Jewish women ‘shiksas,’ with apparently no concern that she might come off sounding like a huge bigot.” Are you a bigot? I don’t recall anyone claiming that Seinfeld is racist for saying Elaine has Shiksappeal?I wouldn’t take anything Renee says too seriously because she clearly missed the boat on this book.She neglected that this is first and foremost, a fun dating guide, and was not meant to be social commentary.