My advice will no doubt upset some, and if I am captured by a posse of angry Dutch men with lion king hairstyles and am forced to sit through hours of music from Tiesto, Fedde La Grand and Armin van Buuren, i’ll look into the eyes of my enemies and shout, sodemieter op, jullie domme kakkers! Dutch men, are probably the luckiest of their species on planet earth.
I say this simply because, Dutch women, in spite of often dressing as if the Netherlands has a permanent power outage, and they can only choose what to wear in the dark, are amongst the most beautiful women that you’ll see anywhere in the world.
The Dutch female selects the man she is interested in with the precision of a special forces sniper, aiming at a target.
The Dutch female is often not particularly interested or fazed by the fact that their target could be married, in a relationship or even as the shallow man has witnessed with his own eyes, have their girlfriend present.
The Dutch ladies are relentless once they have set their sights on a target.
A female friend and sometimes running partner of the shallow man, was having a massage in a place in the Rivierenbuurt.
She was behind a curtain, having a good massage, when she heard a voice in English asking one of the staff, “what kind of massage do you provide here?
” The staff member responded “pressure point massage.” The English voice asked “what other kinds of massage?
” To which the response was, “pressure point massage.” The inquisitive chap on the other side of the curtain pressed on. ” the voice of the staff member was now getting louder, “we do normal massage.” The English voice pressed on and finally got to the point, “what about a happy ending?
” At which point the response was “you dirty man, you get out now! The shallow man has met many an expat lady that have been on dates with Dutch men that have not led to happy endings.
Several disappointed, international antelope, have asked me where they went wrong in their pursuit of the Dutch lion.
The shallow man, is, as always, sensitive to the needs of his expat flock.
Therefore, at considerable risk to my bespoke tailored three piece suit wearing self, I have put together a list of deadly mistakes to avoid when dating Dutch men.