magazine rounds up the angriest, vainest, freakiest, most altogether scary Arizonans. It’s just mean, and it was a funhouse mirror, intentionally warped to disregard the nice things in Scottsdale. He also gave us the term “slut-shaming.” #9 John Huppenthal He’s a bit less scary after losing his reelection bid in the Republican primary on August 26, but Huppenthal has wielded no small modicum of power as Arizona Superintendent of Public Instruction, an office that guides funding and curriculum standards.
Born Hooman Karamian in Hackensack, New Jersey, the former credit card processor launched in 2007, offering the world crudely-captioned photographic evidence of Scottsdale in spread-eagle Gomorrah mode, a daily parade of ,000 millionaires, apple martinis and lopsided silicone.
We like to think blogger Nik Richie had something to do with that piece of television scriptwriting.
So, in this season of vampires, killer clowns and sexy-pirate Halloween costumes, we pay our respects to the Arizonans we’d never want to meet in a dark alley. Note: In the interest of leveling the playing field, we’ve eliminated violent criminals, sex offenders and most politicians from consideration. #10 Nik Richie In a 2008 episode of South Park, a group of goth kids announce their intention to ship a classmate to “the most horrible, most miserable place on Earth” and unanimously decide on Scottsdale.
To be sure, Arizona has given America the heebie jeebies hard and often over recent years, from the blood-stained saga of Jodi Arias to the underage sister wives of Colorado City.
So it was a little distressing when he copped to a secret life as an Internet troll, where his exotic theories about Franklin Delano Roosevelt (caused the Great Depression, responsible for Hitler) and welfare recipients (“lazy pigs”) appeared on various websites under pseudonyms like Falcon9 and Thucydides.
Nothing explicitly criminal in those online comments, just deeply unprofessional and unbecoming.
That is, unless you think fifth-grade history textbooks should be amended to depict Charles Darwin as a closet anti-Semite who formulated his theory of natural selection to lay the groundwork for Jewish genocide. #8 Steve Haworth Most of us would classify tongue bifurcation and subcutaneous metal skull implants as medieval agonies best avoided. To the Phoenix-based “body modification” guru, those after-market alterations are simply his livelihood. He also collaborated extensively with many of the “stars” of the body-mod subculture, including the late Stalking Cat (a Flint, Mich., native who assumed the guise of a female tiger) and freak show legend The Enigma. Ersula Ore As street crime goes, jaywalking isn’t all that scary.
Hardly a body-mod poster-boy himself – his only visible affectation is a single ear gauge, which is less than the average modern college student, if you think about it – Haworth pioneered the art of subdermal and transdermal implants in his Phoenix studio, physically reshaping his clients to suit their whims. Low-key and professional, Haworth has appeared extensively on TV – including Extreme Dr. And that’s the point: It takes real gumption to turn a jaywalking citation into a dashboard-cam viral fight video and assault charge.
90210 – and is generally regarded as the Hugh Hefner of body mod. Presaging the far more explosive events in Ferguson, Missouri, three months later, Ore’s painful-looking take-down by Arizona State University police officer Stewart Ferrin in May prompted a comparatively minor furor over race and law enforcement, with supporters of the ASU English professor – who is black – characterizing the arrest as excessively forceful.
Not that Ore was a compliant citizen; she was clearly ticked-off that Ferrin stopped her in the first place and later pleaded guilty to one misdemeanor count of resisting arrest. How, then, did the good doctor summon the towering lack of judgment to bring a loaded AR-15 semiautomatic rifle to Sky Harbor International Airport last July, ostensibly while on a “coffee run” at the airport?
The scary part: Take away Ferrin’s handcuffs and tactical advantage, and one gets the very real sense that Ore would have creamed him one-on-one. Peter Steinmetz With a job title like “Program Director of Neuroengineering at Barrow Neurological Institute,” Dr. Naturally, Steinmetz – who was subsequently put on administrative leave at Barrow – was making a statement about his Second Amendment rights, which says more about his egotism than his IQ. Those baristas at Starbucks are overworked and over-caffeinated.